suffering and beauty

How much suffering is necessary for beauty – true beauty? If beauty is completeness mustn’t we test the limits to know the fullness of being complete. Couldn’t a being existing in the middle of a circle believe himself to be living in a square if the limits are never tested?

Can real love push the limits, or is it only the expediency of suffering – suffering that throws us against our limits - that maks us aware of them? It is in those moments we have to test the question of why we are living, it is in those moments we have to realize that we choose life with more feeling and suffering that we would choose death.

How much suffering is necessary to get there – to create this beauty? If you want to be beautiful suffer. Know how complete you can be, let the full feelings out and then, only then, can the rational truly test, limit, and order, our humanness.

We can only glimpse chaos in the heart of turmoil, and only through turmoil. I don’t think we are as alert to this chaos when we are happy. Chaos is the root of beauty – it is the ethereal which we are all attracted to. The siren song. Why did they sing? Weren’t they also punished by their beauty? Never able to feel the embrace of the love and desire they created in men. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate punishment, to watch your future lovers die in front of you because of your song?

Why do are hearts race when we feel the most? Is it because in those moments we are living to the fullest?

Maybe depressives know something we don’t, and feel something we don’t – perhaps they live more. It is only the drugs that make them numb, if they were allowed I am sure they feel more than most of us imagine.

men

Do men know gray?

Quote

"I don't want to go to school, I just want to play with puppies!"

Creep

Dear man in 29D,
The moment is almost over
our plane has almost landed
but I still haven't stopped imagining
what might happen.
I want to lift this armrest up
and scoot nest to you
I want to touch your knee,
thigh, shoulder, chest.
Maybe caress your jaw,
neck, collar,
We could take off
our scarves, pretend
we know eachother,
only for this moment.
It's about to pass,
and that's a shame
because we will never meet
again.
prepare for landing
we've reached Houston

-Alice 29F

WHY AREN'T YOU WITH MEEEE?

(now commences my love letter to you Lady K) Darling I want to live!

Can we go to bars and concerts and art galleries and lounges? I want to sip on cranberry juice and wear glitter and I want to dress nice and have nice looking men buy me more cranberry juice!! I want to see their nice combed short hair and the crisp collared shirts. Ahhhhh and I want to link arms with you and walk down the sidewalks on our way to some glamorous party wearing pearls and red lipstick and all black dresses and tailored fur coats.

I want us to share a penthouse of some classic old building and throw roof parties where we invite all the other glamorous people we know. We'll have plush rugs and sparkling chandeliers, candlesticks and colorful vases on every surface. Fresh flowers and bowls of fruit decorate windowsills next to portraits on every wall. Pretty people framed in gold, bright images of other worlds.

I want to learn from you all about virtue and wisdom and truth. Distract me from my heartbreak and tell me stories from old literature and ancient legends. I want to smile every morning instead of crying, and I want to drink lattes all day and reapply lipstick every time it fades. I want to blush and glance at my lap when men's eyes linger to long on our laughing rosy faces. When we are happy we glow and shine, so can we just shimmer all the time? I'll twirl down the sidewalks and strangers can laugh all they want because I hardly care as long as you are entertained.

We can sketch in parks and finger paint when we forget brushes. I want to have a picnic every day of spring and pick flowers and braid them into our hair, perhaps magically they will stay long enough for us to capture pretty black and white photos, which we will blow up and cover an entire wall with! And above all I just want to live next to you happy and free in a city where we can just be natural and smiley. My friend, you already know my thoughts, so I'm sure this is no surprise, but I just want you to know, I love you!

-Lady S

image

As the distance between us digs deeper
I feel the remorse of an amputee